just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
