I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can't turn off my feet"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
