just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
