you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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