Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
