Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
