if i can run in heels then i can drive
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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