So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
