Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
