awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
