yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm having to shit out rocks
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
