I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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