I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i love accidental penises.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
