For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize