so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize