There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
