I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
