GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
