Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize