Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
