What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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