She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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