So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
