Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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