Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
