Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
