I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
