i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
