I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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