Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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