I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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