did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
