ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
