Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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