She is in my trunk
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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