Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
