Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
