i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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