I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize