I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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