theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
