And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
