By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize