butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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