She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Enjoy the penises
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
