Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I died a long time ago.
Jerry, you need to find god
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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