im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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