I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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