we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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