Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
