Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize