My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
