Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
