Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
