I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
