this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
