I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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