did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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