Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
